21 Questions - Get To Know Me

1. Are you named after anyone? 

I'm named after my Dads favourite Charlie's Angel Sabrina from the original TV show. Despite my Dads love for her my Mum thought he said Sabina *No R* so although I consider myself Sabrina now for years I went by the name Sabina for years at school and that's what is on my passport. Growing up my Dads side of family called me Sabrina and my Mums side calling me Sabina. No wonder I'm such a confused and crazy soul! Nowadays everyone calls me Beans, simple.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I cried about an hour ago, watching Emmerdale. I rarely watch soaps but my Mum and Nan love them so every now and again I'll make dinner and we'll settle to watch Corrie and Emmerdale together.

3. Do you have kids?
I don't, unless my Mum counts lol. I feel like I gave birth to her and sometimes when we bicker she'll ask 'Who's the Mum and who's the daughter?' The Mother is clearly me, having her is like having a child sometimes. I do think and talk about having children in the future but right now I'm the happiest I've ever been. Adding a little human would change a lot and I'm not ready for my life to stop being about me. I have so much love to give and when I'm done loving myself I'll be more than happy to start my little family. 

4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? 

I seem to attract new friends easily and I often wonder what they actually see in me. Ben tells me all the time that I have a really positive energy and I'm fun to be around. I don't really see it but I guess it's because I'm just being myself and I'm acting in a way that's normal for me. I would definitely want to be a friend of myself because I consider myself a really good friend.

5. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Absolutely not. Sarcasm is a really long and obnoxious way of letting somebody else know they're stupid. I don't really fancy it. 

6. Will you ever bungee-jump? 
Never. I'd be that one person in the history of all humanity to be killed by simply contemplating bungee-jumping.

7. What’s your favourite cereal? 

I really love Kallo Wholegrain Breakfast Puffs. It's honestly the most boring cereal ever, really healthy and really filling. I like it with unsweetened Almond milk and Blueberries.

8. What’s the first thing you notice about people? 
I always notice bogey's. It's like my eyes are instantly drawn to peoples nostrils. It's an illness, it has to be. And as if that isn't bad enough, I feel the need to try and remove it with anything other than my hand, whilst telling them they have booger situation. Yesterday in Waitrose I tried to shove a piece of paper up my friends nostril to remove a bogey.. I think it's because I'm not that tall, I can really see right up there. I also notice really bad brows.

9. What is your eye colour? 
Brown. Sometimes really light and sometimes almost black.

10. Scary movie or happy endings?

It depends on my mood.   

11. Favourite smells?  

Marc Jacobs everything. And tobacco, it reminds me of my Grandad. I love the smell of book pages and the smell of a freshly painted house. My boyfriend smells delicious like a baby and I love the smell of my Mum and Nan, they seem to go for similar perfumes, very feminine and grown up. Also the smell of  cakes baking, really homely and comforting.

12. Summer or Winter?
Winter! 

13. Computer or television?

Probably equal amounts of both although I only watch TV when I choose a film to watch. The things on TV nowadays do absolutely nothing for me other than make me want to put my fist through the screen.

14. What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home?

New York is the furthest I've been from home. Or Jamaica? I'm not sure. My geography is a joke, I'm going to go with Jamaica, because I had to get two planes which means it could be further than New York.

 

15. Do you have any special talents?  

Baking! I'm quite a good singer (cringe), I write and I'm okay at doing makeup, cooking and I LOVE photography. 

16. Where were you born?

Manchester, UK.

  

17. What are your hobbies?
Baking, Pole dance, fitness, singing, writing, photography. I'm currently obsessed with Ancient Mayans so I'm doing a lot of reading about them. I pick new things up really easily because I have a passion for learning. New too old to learn.

18. Do you have any pets?
I don't. I've been looking for a black cat for years and haven't found the perfect one yet. I had a goldfish called Klaus I had him for 10 years. He was HUGE and quite intelligent. 

19. Favourite movie?

Far too many to choose. I love Withnail and I and I LOVE Jumping Jack Flash! I have so many it's unreal. I think I own over 200 DVD's. I've seen them all more than once. I probably watch at least 6 films a week and I'm forever at the cinema. 

 

20. Do you have any siblings?
I have half siblings, one brother and three sisters, we share the same Pops. I do however consider myself an only child. I love my family unconditionally but there's more to being a sibling than sharing the same surname. When I do have children, they'll be bonded by trust, loyalty, and love something that doesn't just come from sharing the same parent/parents. I have four very best friends who have been through everything with me, we don't share blood or parents but they know me inside-out and I consider them my sisters. I also have an older cousin who means the absolute world to me, we were brought up together and I know I can call on her for absolutely anything, another sister right there.

21. What do you want to be when you grow up?
An inspiration to others, successful by my own standards and insanely happy. 

Hope you enjoyed! I know this isn't really  TAG kind of post, but I'd really like for my sissy Lumie to do this so head over to her blog and hopefully she's taken part!!

Love Beanie xoxo

PCOS - How I'm Dealing with Hair Loss

It's been a while since I began the journey to restore my hair to what it was before, about 8 weeks now. I have really put off writing this post because I feel a really low about losing my hair and I guess writing this is kind of confirmation that it's happening. Since blogging I've had a lot of response from people especially over on Facebook which is lovely! In cases like this it's bitter-sweet because I'm sad for anyone dealing with similar issues and those able to relate to posts like this, but it's nice that I'm able to talk with you and share advice which is the side to blogging I really enjoy. I figured I'd find the courage to write this post in the hope that if it helps at least one person then it's a job well done.

I've not gone into much detail about my personal battle with PCOS (short for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) you can find more information here, I'll dedicate another post which will go into a bit more detail.

I first noticed my hair was thinning about two years ago. This was after a course of Metformin given to me by my Doctor to regulate my insulin levels which in turn would assist in weightloss. I had put the hair-loss back then down to the Metformin and chose to stop taking them. I had a little cry, got over it and assumed my hair would just grow back. For a few months after I continued to weave my hair which was normal for me, I had been weaving for a fair few years and never had any problems. I haven't weaved my hair in over a year as I had made the decision when I started my new job to have my hair as natural as possible. Natural for me is relaxing (opposite to a perm) every 6 or so weeks with a very mild relaxer. Although I've been walking around looking like an Easter egg it has felt really good being able to see and treat my natural hair plus it meant I had extra money to spend on shoes each month! 

I've always had the thickest hair and it always grew just past my shoulders. My hairdresser used to say my hair hurt her hands when she braided it, it was that strong. So around 8 weeks back to look in the mirror and notice my hair had completely fallen out was a shock to me. How had I missed the signs? I hadn't even noticed that at least half of my hair has fallen out! I'd gone from looking like the spawn of Afroman to Gollum's ugly sister! I can laugh about it now because I honestly don't see the point in crying plus stressing will only make it worse.


























My hair has is probably a quarter of what I had before. I used to plait my hair into four when conditioning and each plait was probably as thick as one plait would be for some people. Now my entire head is  probably half of that quarter.

My hair was dry, brittle and breaking and I couldn't understand why. At least the first time I knew the loss occurred due to the medication I was taking but this time there was no medication to blame. I decided to make some notes on any changes I could have missed over the past year because if I was going to approach my doctor with this issue I had to make sure I had all the facts. As any woman with PCOS will tell you, the amount of times we are fobbed off by Doctors is unbelievable.

While I sat on my lunch break making notes I had ruled out the possibility of the loss being down to any extensions, because I hadn't had a weave in so long, I thought it could possibly be the relaxing, as unhealthy as this can be for your hair, this is something I've had done for years, so the chances of that were slim, however this went on to my maybe pile. Soon enough it came to me, I'm always in a lot of pain right in the centre of my scalp, handfuls of hair would come out daily and the patches just weren't not normal. I knew it was down to my condition. I googled and looked for other people dealing with the same and it was there in black and white...PCOS! 

Apparently many women living with PCOS suffer with thinning and lost hair due an increase in the Testosterone/DHT hormone, which is completely ironic because here I am taking all the measures possible so I don't end up looking like the bearded lady, (another symptom of PCOS, excessive hair growth) yet the hair on my head is falling out! Sods Law really isn't it? Beautiful beard, bald head! The next step was to get my notes together and set off on my whirlwind (the wind that I no longer feel blowing through my hair) adventure to restore my hair back to full health.

I did visit my GP who tried to pass it off as stress, after she tried to usher me out of the room because apparently she can only deal with one issue per visit. I was so angry with her, and after years of being tossed to one side I stood my ground. I asked her if she'd like to pay for my time away from work for another appointment, and I made it clear that I don't ever visit the surgery more than twice a year, sometimes never. I explained to her that I didn't really want to be there and that I'd sooner utilise every single method of holistic therapy before being pumped full of whatever she was going to prescribe which I had already researched and found out it can cause cancer and long term kidney damage amongst other gruesome side-effects. I wanted to be clear in my expectations and what I wanted her to do as my GP. I told her I'd like a blood test to check my hormone levels which she agreed to. To be honest I think she saw the notes on my medical file regarding my extreme anger issues and that I've been known to turn green, burst out of my shirt and run down streets smashing buildings and cars, otherwise she may have never agreed.

Waiting for results I decided to take measures into my own hands and my boyfriend, bless him is a god-send. Whenever I'm in distress he does everything he can to find a resolution. Do you know he probably knows more about Afro hair than me! To be honest I think he knows more about black women than I do! I should start calling him Tyrone and he can be my fabulous, male hairdresser/lifestyle coach, like the fabulous diva's the ladies from The Real Housewives of Atlanta have hanging around. 

For the past 8 or so weeks I've been using a shampoo, conditioner and thickening mist by a company called Shea Moisture, this is an all natural shampoo containing amazing ingredients such as Biotin, coconut oil and silk protein. I use this combination of treatments around once or twice a week to restore the moisture in my hair and to promote growth. I also use Sweet Almond Oil which I bought from Holland and Barret this I also use daily, once a week I'll heat the oil and leave it in my hair for 30-45 minutes just as a deep treatment and three times a week before bed I'll spend about 15 minutes massaging it into my hair focusing on the roots where my hair is driest. I'm taking Skin, Hair and Nail Vitamins daily which I buy from Boots and I use a lovely, little home-made hair oil from Etsy on occasion. Here's a list of other measures I'm taking to help:

• I've switched to a low-sugar diet
• I've reduced my stress levels by exercising regularly, including meditation
• When it rains I'm not so quick to grab my brolly. My Mum always told me stories of how she used to wash her hair with rain water back when she was in Jamaica, so I kind of just leave my umbrella in my bag unless its absolutely pelting down
• I wear a Durag to bed or sleep on a silk pillow to minimise the harsh friction of my hair rubbing against the material as this can cause hair to fall out, and even though I look like a criminal wearing it it has worked wonders and there's hardly ever a hair on my pillow in the morning
• I use a wide-tooth comb to brush so it's not dragging my hair out from the roots or irritating the scalp
• To bathe and shower I have the temperature cooler as the heat from the water causes hair to dry out which in turn causes the brittle hair to break and fallout

Since switching up my hair regime in combination with the products and treatments I've been using, over the past 8 weeks I have seen a real difference in the condition of my hair. My hair now grows a lot faster and I've found it's becoming thicker, especially at my crown. My hair still gets quite dry but overall the products I use have restored some moisture and my hair is never as dry as it once was. When I brush less hair falls out, sometimes none at all and I've found that my scalp is less tender. 

I still have such a long way to go with this but I am so happy to be on track. I know what works for me and I know it's not just about what I put in my hair but what goes into my body is a huge factor too, so a balanced diet is a must. I still sometimes cry when I see what my hair has become but when I compare it to a few weeks ago it's not really that bad, it's just another experience to add to my book of 'Story's to tell the Grandchildren'.

Have you experienced anything similar? How did you deal with it? Have you got any tips?

Thanks for reading

Love Beanie xoxo